I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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