YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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