There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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