He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
