Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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