i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
