Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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