cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Randomize
