In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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