I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
