dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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