But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
