Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
