he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
