Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
