I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
