well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
