i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
