Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
