it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
