Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
