I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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