she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
