is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
