But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
