I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
