it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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