my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
