My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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