I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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