Porn is love you can see.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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