You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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