Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
