Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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