have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
