so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
