it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
