I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
