"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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