Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
