just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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