omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
