his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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