My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
