so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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