Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He passed out mid-signature
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
