so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she told me i tasted like america
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
