I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
