I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
