spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
