That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i think we sleep fucked last night...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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